TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
