I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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