yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
