No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
