I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
