the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
