Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
