Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize