so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
