My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
