a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
