last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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