You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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