Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
