It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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