marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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