I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize