Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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