my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize