I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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