Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
