he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
