i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
