I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
