I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
