Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
