Your dad touched me again.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
