Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
