Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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