Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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