nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
