mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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