I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
