shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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