I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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