i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
