Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
