walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
