I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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