Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
