Your dad touched me again.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
