They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
