Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
