Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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