11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
