You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize