vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
