How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
