Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
