Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
