A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
