dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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