Soap is not a condiment
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
