Can i not drive my cunt home
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I love you. Go after that dick
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
