are you so shy because you have an std?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
