I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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