We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
