My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
