I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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