I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
