Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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