your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
