It's Friday. Sex?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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