In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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