Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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