So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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